Monday, September 04, 2006

Father-son terms of endearment

"Come on darling", I said as I picked up Oliver on Saturday morning. Darling. Is that a bit soppy, I wondered? And so I got to thinking of all the other things I call him. "Pumpkin", "poppet", "sausage", "sweetheart", "gorgeous"... They aren't exactly manly are they. I started to wonder whether this is in any way a bad thing. I mean what can a man call his son that is both manly and also warm and affectionate?

I sometimes call him "monster", "tiny tearaway", "henry hooligan", but these more boyish tags are hardly complimentary. "Champ" is about the closest to both manly and complimentary that I have used. And that was mostly when he was 0n day old.

I've consoled myself in the knowledge that he is still less than one year old and therefore a baby really, so who could object to calling a baby "darling".

But that's just avoiding the question! It seems sad to me that there don't appear to be more loving ways to address my son without them seeming un-masculine. As someone who finds himself appalled at many of the wars going on in the world right now, I can't say that "Daddy's little soldier" sits entirely comfortably, though I have used it occasionally. In fact gender stereotypes in general don't sit very comfortably.

And even if there are more masculine ways of addressing him, I don't intend to use them if they convey any less love, because I adore the little man. And if I can convey that to him, I don't really think it matters what language I use to do it. I just have to remember in a few years time that teenagers probably don't appreciate being called "Pumpkin".

2 comments:

Dan said...

How about "big guy"?

I'm lucky in that I have a daughter. The main problem for me is the terms of endearment I use for her are the same ones I use for my wife, which is a little confusing/creepy on occasion.

Steve said...

I realised after writing this blog entry that perhaps my best nickname for Oliver is the one I probably use the most: "Little Man".

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