Re-united

Last night I printed out copies of a poster, seeking information about the disappearance of Big Julien. They were taken to the location of his disappearance in the hope of turning up some new leads.



Within hours, Julien was returned home! It seems that Oliver left him at the church playgroup and one of the helpers took him home for safekeeping without telling us. Hayley was so excited at his return that she rang Oliver from her sick-bed to tell him the good news.

This evening my son was happy to have his best friend back in his arms. Though I did hear Oliver say to him at one point, in a rather serious tone, "Big Julien, don't you get lost again"!

Missing: Big Julien

Oliver aged 4 months with Big Julien.

The unthinkable finally happened. We have lost Big Julien.

Anyone who knows us or has read this blog for a while will know that Big Julien is Oliver's favourite soft toy that he has had since he was 10 days old and which has been his comforter ever since we took away his dummy when still a baby. Even these days if he gets upset he will ask for Big Julien. Not to mention the fact that he still cuddles up with him to go to sleep every night. You only have to search my Flickr photos for "Julien" to see how Oliver and Julien have been inseparable from the daay he appeared.

Well, on Friday Big Julien was taken to a local playgroup and was last seen sitting on a chair there. It appears he never made it home. Consequently, last night Oliver went to bed without him for the first time in ages. And the preceding times were when he could be fooled by the "spare" that we had especially brought over from the States. But since he cottoned on to my deception this spare has really only been a minor player in Oliver's life, largely ignored.

There was the small comfort that we still have Baby Julien (a smaller version) that he has had for quite a while, but even so, last night was punctuated with questions about where Big Julien was and it was the first thing he asked this morning.

Hayley has been to the church where the playgroup is held and searched the store room, but to no avail. I fear Oliver may have dropped him as he got into the car and someone has picked him up, taking him away rather than handing him in to the church (where the car was parked).

Of course it is still within the realms of possibility that he will turn up, even here at home (though we have turned the place upside down so I'm probably kidding myself). Oliver did claim at one point yesterday to have brought him home, but I think this was more wishful thinking than fact, as he said he was at playgroup on other occasions.

Hayley and I are gutted. I feel sick sometimes when I think of how he has lost his number one comfort.

On the bright side, he did sleep reasonably well last night and today has gone to bed with Baby Julien and Big Julius (the name of the spare) without much concern. However, the time will come when he gets upset and wants Big Julien. I really hope we find him before then, but as time goes on I'm running out of hope.

Of course to my 4 year old son this is a terribly serious matter. But it has served to illustrate something else to me. Having watched a documentary about the 18-year long kidnapping of Jaycee Lee Dugard on TV last night, I can barely start to imagine the horror of what her parents experienced. I keep looking in the car expecting to find my son's favourite toy and then feeling sick when it's not there. How much more mind-numbingly awful must it be to keep looking in hope for your child.

Having said that, of course here in the UK we have been witnesses to the unfolding tale of Madeleine McCann, whose abduction was so shocking and omnipresent on our TV screens in the days after it happened that I couldn't find words to say that weren't already all around us. In fact I've never commented on it in this blog for that reason: it has all been said. It is an intolerable nightmare that somehow the McCanns must live through for the sake of their other two children.

So it may not be the end of the world that Big Julien is missing, but it has had more impact than you might at first think in our household.


Oliver earlier this year with Big Julien and Big Julius.

Busted

When Oliver was 10 days old he was given a toy by his God-parents David and Susan. A rather simple, woollen dog from the Grannimals range. He came pre-named: "Julien". At 12 inches high he was an unassuming, modest character. Much less ostentatious than many of the other fluffy toys Oliver had received on his arrival.

I had no idea how important Julien was to become.

We used to give him Julien to go to bed. But he was just one of several toys in his cot and they were all out of his reach anyway. Then when Oliver was still quite young we decided to wean him off his dummy. In place of his dummy we gave him Julien as a comfort. At nap time, to get to sleep, instead of sucking on the dummy, Oliver would hug and bite the nose of Julien. It was the same at night.

From then on, Julien was no longer a nice toy, he was essential! Panic would break out if he couldn't be found. We quickly realised that a substitute Julien was needed. But we couldn't get one in the UK anywhere. The only one we could get was a smaller, 7inch version. And so "Little Julien" arrived and the original Julien gradually came to be known as "Big Julien". (In hindsight this now sounds like a character from a gangster movie. "Oh and who's that", asks a stranger of Oliver. "Big Julien" he replies. "Oh..." says the stranger backing away nervously.)

For a while all was well. Oliver was happy with either Big Julien or Little Julien, though the former was preferable. But eventually it had to be Big Julien in his cot at night. At this point we asked friends in Connecticut to bring over another big Julien when they came to visit!

And so we now had two Big Juliens! And when the real Big Julien was left somewhere we simply substituted the other one. Perfect! And all was well with the world.

Until...

A couple of months ago ago after Oliver had left the real Big Julien at a playgroup we quickly produced his double. But then Oliver came home with the real Julien and his double was still in the living room. Suddenly I heard "Look, look Mummy, TWO Juliens!!!!".

Drat!

So I quickly explained that this was Julien's cousin Julius (wow what originality) who had come to visit from the USA. And at the end of the day Julius said goodbye to fly home. Phew! A lucky escape. We got away with it.

But then, a few weeks ago, we lost Julien again. Oliver wanted him and was already in his cot for the night, so I quickly grabbed cousin Julius from his hiding place in our room and took him in to Oliver. I handed him to the little man in the gloom and turned away to go downstairs. As I reached the door I heard the dreaded words.

"That's not Big Julien!"

Oh no. What should I do? I know. I'll do what any right-minded decent parent would do.

Lie through my teeth.

"Yes it is, he's had a wash".
"No, it's Julius. It's not Big Julien!"

It was no use. Looking at Julius, even in the dark of Oliver's room it was clear his ears were far less floppy than Julien's. And he was all round Julius was just less worn and less saggy. It was no use. The game was up. I apologised to Oliver for my "mistake" and went searching for Julien who, fortunately, I found.

And so now Julius and Julien can be seen together without fear.



And judging from the way Julien was briefly forgotten with Wall-E's arrival this week, the day will come soon enough when Julien will spend more time just sitting in the corner of Oliver's room. And we'll look back and laugh at the times we scrambled and searched for Julien in a wild panic.

Or rather, we would if it wasn't for the fact we got Lucy a "Big Lucien" the large rabbit Grannimal who she takes to bed every night. And you can't get one of those over here either!

Good morning!

Oliver has taken to coming into our bed after we get him out of his cot in the mornings. This morning he brought along (from left to right) Iggle Piggle, Peter Rabbit (who was his first ever toy and whom he has recently rediscovered), Baby Lucien (the smaller of Lucy's two Lucien Bunnies) and last but not least Big Julien (the larger and by far the most cherished of Oliver's two Julien dogs).