Natural Born Mothers

As we all marched into the ante-natal classes all those months ago, every one of us was a parent-to-be: indistinguishable from one another. We all heard the same advice, learned the same lessons and no doubt we all imagined pretty much the same idyllic scene as our child was born without complications and we cared for it exactly as we had been told.

Of course, by the time you have experienced first-hand the use of the ventuse cap and had midwives panicing unnecessarily over his first few feeds you realise everyones experience is far from the same.

Equally, the way the new mothers take to their task varies dramatically too. Talking to my sister this weekend she was telling me how terrified she was to bathe her son for the first few weeks and enlisted my Mum's help, only taking complete and unilateral control of the bathing after several weeks. Other mothers Hayley has met at Baby Club have also expressed nervousness at how to deal with their baby in some situations.

Now I'm not saying everything in our household has been one uninterrupted sequence of events expertly handled without any qualms or hesitation (as testified by this blog), but in the three months since Oliver's birth I have come to realise just what a great mother Oliver has in Hayley.

Before you think, "well he would say that wouldn't he", my comments are not just based on the confident and patient way she handles Oliver even in the face of prolonged grizzling. The health visitor commented after about 6 weeks that Oliver's contented sleeping pattern and general well-being were a credit to Hayley. More recently, she relayed to her how one of the other new Mums had said that she wished she could be as confident with her baby as Hayley is with Oliver.

I guess her previous experience as a nanny in the US has stood her in good stead, but what I have really noticed is that she has apprently near endless reserves of patience and energy to play with Oliver and keep him amused and entertained and I have little doubt that this is borne from her love for him. Of course, I love him too, but I can't deny that her love is of a different kind to mine. It's a mother's love for her son and it is as unrestrained and natural to her as I could have imagined. She truly loves spending her days with him.

Her confidence with him is an enormous re-assurance to me when I feel unsure how to deal with him and I have learned so much from her about how to keep him entertained and happy. And how does she find so much energy all the time! I wish I knew.

It's early days and despite making her sound like Supermum, Hayley too has moments of frustration when the going gets really tough. But I have no doubt that Oliver and I are both very, very lucky to have her.