Come out, come out, whoever you are!

We just spent a couple of days in the Peak District to relax and stop us feeling like we are just waiting around for Bump to appear. Regardless of how well we knew Hayley could go beyond her due date, it is still a frustrating experience, more so for Hayley than for me as her discomforts continue longer than she'd hoped.

Before driving to the Peaks in the afternoon, we attended Hayley's latest midwife appointment with M. She sympathised with Hayley's impatience whilst also pointing out she was only a day overdue and that in all likelihood nature would take its course at some point in the next week or so. The baby's heartbeat was 148bpm and (s)he appears to be lying on Hayley's right side: not ideal but at least (s)he is head down, very low down in fact according to M's examination.

So how do we persuade Bump to get moving? M said that eating pineapple can help as it contains a substance that softens the cervix. As I understand it, this facilitates its effacement and dilation. It is the same substance that is contained in semen, which is why having sex can help. But none of these techniques come with any guarantees.

We stayed at the Crewe and Harpur Arms in Longnor (location for the filming of Peak Practice). The pub was recently stylishly renovated by new owners to provide luxury accommodation that contrasts with the comfortable but more functional accommodation elsewhere in the village. Our room had a large bath, multi-head shower (that was about as easy to set up as your average Personal Computer), Sky TV, wireless internet access and a huge super king sized bed. I watched the cricket lying on the bed while Hayley wrote a quick blog entry before luxuriating in a nice bubble-filled bath.

We ate in our hotel before taking a walk around the village which is tiny but has four pubs. We walked 50 yards up the road to the Cheshire Cheese pub. I stayed there way back in about 1988 with two friends from work when we decided to spend a weekend drinking and walking in equal measure. The barman - the husband of the current landlady - told us that it had been through difficult days before she took over 18 months ago. It certainly looks the epitome of a thriving village pub now with a healthy number of diners. (In fact we got peckish and ordered some profiteroles with hot chocolate sauce while we were there.)

We got chatting to a family in the bar who took an interest in Hayley's obvious bump. The mother had given birth to two of her children in Stepping Hill Hospital. We ended up telling her our probable names for the baby. It's the first time we have broken our self-imposed silence and told someone, but as we are almost certainly never going to see them again it seemed ridiculous not to do so. She really liked the names which was very nice as the first reaction we've received.

As one family made their way to the door the barman did some card tricks for them before stealing the watch from one of them. It turns out he is a professional magician who has won many competitions for his close magic including 3rd place in the British close magic championships which included a performance before an audience of his peers with two close cameras projected onto large screens. No pressure then! He told us he does many functions including Christenings which sounds a great idea. Being a professional he charges professional prices but it could well be worth it.

Today we drove over to Bakewell where I went for a short mountain-bike ride over the hills to Chatsworth while Hayley fed the ducks and took a stroll around Bakewell for more Bakewell Tart. We finished our little sojourn in the Peak District with a trip to the Old Post Office and Tea Shop in Edensor where we enjoyed some of the best cream of mushroom soup we've ever tasted and I indulged in a cream tea.

On returning to Stockport we collapsed into bed for a nap. All this pineapple eating can be exhausting you know.