The Twilight Zone

I've had a strange feeling today. Almost like none of this is real. We've been waiting so long for this baby that I can hardly believe it really will be with us very soon. (Maybe the fact that England are set to go 2-1 up in the Ashes is contributing to the sense of unreality.)

Usually when you say that time has dragged it implies that it has been an unhappy experience. But the last nine months have simultaneously felt like one of the longest but also happiest times of my whole life. So happy in fact that I find myself savouring these last few days before two becomes three.

We've been trying hard to get ready for the event, but as the time approaches you realise you will never have everything "just so" and that feeling less than entirely prepared is part of the deal. I suppose the closest analogy would be like preparing to go out and perform on stage. There comes a time when no more rehearsing is going to help you and you find yourself standing in the wings about to face your audience. That's where I am now. I'm still rehearsing a few lines under my breath (or rather shaving a bit off the bottom of the nursery door), but basically I am waiting. In limbo. The Twilight Zone between coupledom and parenthood.

Hayley has been suffering from acid reflux and heartburn for the last 24 hours or so and today has felt nauseous. She went swimming this afternoon just to be able to do something other than sit around feeling uncomfortable. Her back aches too much for her to walk very far so swimming is by far the best way for her to exercise. She said it helped greatly.

But now she's back on terrafirma (or more accurately sitting on a reversed dining chair watching Eastenders) and in a few hours we'll be off to bed. Once upon a time - and I mean this in an entirely wholesome way - going to bed was something we looked forward to. But now as Hayley struggles to get comfortable and gets up hourly (or more) to go to the loo ("honestly Steve, it was only a dribble too!"), it has become a time of some dread for her. Obviously I try to rub her back and help her get comfortable, but at the end of the day she is carrying round our Bump: and a large Bump (s)he is now too!

Last night we pulled out the sofa bed in the nursery so I could sleep in there if her snoring was disturbing me. But when I woke I found it was Hayley who had changed rooms and in the morning she had a recording of my snoring: revenge for last week!

The sun is just going down after a beautiful summer afternoon - it truly is the twilight zone. But it can't last forever.