BBC NEWS | Health | Steep rise in Down's pregnancies

BBC NEWS | Health | Steep rise in Down's pregnancies

It was back in January 2007 that we had a scan for Lucy to check for the likelihood of Downs Syndrome. My post at that time stirred up a reaction or two (misgiudeded and unjustified too, I might add).

Hearing about this report on the Today programme radio this morning, I was surprised to hear that now apparently every woman is offered the nuchal translucency scan. I thought you just got the blood test and even then were only told the result and offered an amniocentesis if the score indicated a high chance of a downs pregnancy. We certainly had to pay for the nuchal translucency scan ourselves back in 2007.

Apparently the percentage of those who discover they have a downs pregnancy and then decide to abort is unchganged.

BBC NEWS | Africa | Malawi: A mother's race against time

BBC NEWS | Africa | Malawi: A mother's race against time

Several years ago when Hayley was pregnant with Oliver, we saw a fireman's bike in a mini museum in Prague. I'm not sure how much real use it saw, perhaps none at all.

But here is a genuinely life-saving bicycle, used as an ambulance for pregnant women in Malawi.

Sadly my excitement at this story was dampened when I read that there are more Malawian doctors in Manchester than in the whole of Malawi, a symptom of the lucrative wages our government is offering in order to try to maximise improvements in our own National Health Service.

BBC NEWS | Health | Birth weight 'sets future health'

BBC NEWS | Health | Birth weight 'sets future health'

No problem here for Oliver I suspect as he was a good weight when he was born, as was Lucy, though girls seem unaffected according to this study.

On the other hand I was premature and only weighed around 5 and half pounds, subsequently dropping much lower before rallying after my Dad apparently gave the nurses a hard time about the sloppy feeding routines.

BBC NEWS | Health | Test to pick out viable embryos

BBC NEWS | Health | Test to pick out viable embryos

BBC NEWS | Health | Fathers are 'shut out of birth'

BBC NEWS | Health | Fathers are 'shut out of birth'

Hurrah for Humphries?

It's not often I find myself praising the interviewing techniques of the ever-interrupting John Humphries, but this morning he found himself interviewing a deaf man, apparently over the phone, with the aid of someone signing for the interviewee. Mr Humphries was therefore unable and/or unwilling to interrupt in his usual fashion and the quality of his interview was all the better for it.

In the interview on Radio 4's "Today" programme, the man defended his claim that he and his partner should have the right to undergo have IVF treatment and choose to have a deaf child. That doesn't mean they choose to keep the child if it turns out to be deaf, it means they actively choose through IVF to have a child that is deaf.

I thought Humphries' astutely delivered argument uncovered the interviewee's reasoning as perverse and nonsensical. You can decide for yourself by listening to the interview.

It is also the subject of this BBC News article.

BBC NEWS | Wales | South West Wales | From 'menopause' to baby for mum

BBC NEWS | Wales | South West Wales | From 'menopause' to baby for mum

"I grabbed a towel and wrapped her in it. I was in a state of shock..."

No kidding!

First real kick

Last night we went out for a meal with friends at an Indian restaurant. Hayley ordered a very hot, spicy dish from the menu. When we got home, we were sitting on the sofa when she suddenly jumped. She had felt the first real kick from Bumper.

Hayley hasn't felt much up to now, less than Oliver at the same stage, so it was nice that he/she has started to make their presence felt, literally.

Definite flutters

Hayley has been experiencing little flutters for the last few days which are definitely Bumper making his/her presence felt.

We've been discussing names too. We've got some ideas for a girl but are still struggling a bit for a boy's name. I'm sure it will come to us in time.

I'm feeling pretty sure it is a boy. But I always thought our first would be a girl and was therefore rather amazed when we had Oliver. But what a joy it has been to have a son. So exuberant and expressive. Full of noise and energy. He has reminded me how to live life: fully, every day!

As for whether Bumper will be a boy or a girl, I feel we can't lose. All we want is a healthy happy baby. If it's a girl, then we have a perfect little "one of each" family. If we have a boy, I then have two boys to rampage around with. And of course us 3 boys will always be able to outvote the 1 girl. :)

First scan of Bumpette

Bumpette: lying back, head to the right, legs to the left with knees up!

This morning Hayley had her first ultrasound scan of our new bump. It was actually a "nuchal translucency" scan which was part of a package of tests aimed at evaluating the likelihood of the baby having Downs Syndrome. These are not covered on the NHS so we had them done at the Bridgewater Hospital in Manchester at our own expense (£200 in case you are interested).

As Hayley is 36 now and will be 37 when the baby is born, her statistical chances of having a Downs baby are higher. Based on her age alone her odds are 1 in 183. However a much more accurate measure is obtained by a combination of blood tests and a scan to measure the thickness of a piece of skin at the back of the baby's neck. The resulting figure has an accuracy of over 90%.

The results were very clear. Based on the blood tests and scan her odds have been revised to 1 in 3656 for this pregnancy.

The sonographer kindly printed off a picture or two from the scan showing our new bump for the first time. On first seeing him/her Hayley's first response was "thank goodness there's only one in there!", as numerous people kept telling her she is having twins.

He/she didn't move around much and just lay on his/her back, occasionally inspecting his/her knees. This first struck me as a boy putting his feet up and taking it easy. Then again, perhaps a pampered princess taking things easy.

In reality it's much too early to be able to tell the sex of the baby yet.
The hospital also does what is known as a 4D scan, which is a high resolution scan undertaken at 28-32 weeks and which enables the baby's features in the womb to be seen very clearly. Isn't that cheating, not waiting until he/she is born? Still, can you blame us for being eager. Though I think we may have to look into this scan a little first before making a decision.

First midwife visit

Our midwife, who I shall refer to as "M" (in a rather 007-fashion), came to see us today. Back in the days when Oliver was "Bump" we had to go to the midwives, but now they come to us, for the first visit at least. Someone suggested to me that this was becuse they try to encourage more home births, though I saw no sign of that today and suspect it's not really the case in general.

Everything seems fine, but the fact Hayley hasn't lost all the weight from Oliver's pregnancy puts her in a slightly different position and means that (initially at least) she will consult with a doctor from time to time rather than just with the midwife. She was also a little alarmed at the increased possibility of gestational diabetes, but my feeling is that if during the second trimester she eats well and keeps as active as she is now, then she won't have a problem. So far she has actually LOST a little weight during the pregnancy rather than putting any on.

During M's visit Oliver sat with me watching Baby Van Gogh or we played with his cooker. After about 45 minutes the little chap stood up against the wall and his face took on the tell-tale expression of a little man doing a big poop! Well, when a little man's gotta go, a little man's gotta go!

We are delighted to announce...

We are delighted to announce that Hayley is expecting our second child. If all goes to plan, Oliver will have a baby brother or sister on the 3rd August 2007.

We told our families on Boxing Day. We couldn't really wait until after the first scan like we did with Oliver because Hayley is suffering terrbile "morning sickness", which would be better named "morning, noon and night sickness" in this case. So it's a bit of a giveaway.

So feel free to send your advice about how to deal with morning sickness!

(There are a few posts about this pregnancy that I kept hidden until now; they are tagged "number2".)

Dear Bumpette

Dear Bumpette,

In case you ever look back at this blog and think "blimey, all they thought about was Oliver and I was at least 2cm long by this stage!", I would like to re-assure you that we do talk about you and think about you a lot. In fact I have started to say hello to you occasionally through your Mummy's tummy. OK, so you probably don't yet have ears but this isn't going to stop me.

We are calling you bumpette because at the moment you are a very small bump and I suppose we are currently suspecting you will be a girl. Our only reason for this is Hayley's gut instinct and the fact that this pregnancy has already been a bit different to Oliver. Mummy hasn't felt very nauseous, well at least she didn't until last night when she thought she would throw up in the living room.

I have already started to imagine how you will get on with your big brother and wondered what names we should consider.

But to be honest, in this first trimester I think we are each keeping our daydreams largely to ourselves, as the danger of miscarriage is greatest during this time. THat is also one reason why my blogging hasn't really focussed on you yet little bumpette. But I promise that will all change!

So keep growing and hopefully we will see you clearly at the first scan in about 4 weeks time. Remember to give us a wave, or at least bob about a bit! And I promise we'll have a better name for you than "bumpette" by the time you arrive.

Love, Daddy.

There goes the office!

Hayley and I have just done the pregnancy test and she is definitely pregnant!

We are both very excited and yet I feel very calm too, almost as if I knew this would happen. Well, I suppose that's a daft thing to say, after all we did make love at the right time for her to fall pregnant. But for the last couple of days she hasn't felt like she was going to "come on" which is odd for her.

And tonight as soon as I asked her about it she said she knew she was pregnant because she had all the same signs. To be honest from the moment she said that I was 90% sure she was right. You can use a test, but, as they say, "a woman knows". I felt my stomach flip over when she said that. After that it was all very run of the mill really: go out, get test, come home, have test, eat dinner. OK I'm being tongue in cheek but it just feels natural.

The only negative thing I've felt all night was the momentary realisation that our new house (assuming the damned lawyers exchange the contracts tomorrow!) has enough rooms for an office. Or at least it did until this news. Somehow I think that's a price worth paying.

BBC - "Flu jabs for pregnant women call"

Flu jabs for pregnant women call

Pregnant women in the UK should be vaccinated against seasonal flu, government advisers say.

Reponses

We each sent out emails to our friends to break the news to them.

I sent out an email containing a link to the scan picture, but saying only that “this [picture] is our greatest piece of creative work ever captured on camera”.

Hayley sent out a more direct "we have big news, go to our website" sort of email.

---

Some responses to Steve's email:

"Definitely! Not what I was expecting to see; not sure what I was
expecting to see - something to do with Mountain BIkes / Routes /
Czech Holiday pictures I guess, but that was defiintely worth logging
on for. Congratulations - so there is lead in the old Socialist Pencil after all -
I always presumed that you were a bit like President Tony's
promises in that department :-)"

"Wow! Brilliant news. When's the due date? Aug/Septish? Remember if the little darling can be squeezed out in Aug you save a years nursery fees etc!! Get as much sleep as you can in the meantime given that youre not getting any younger!"

"That's brilliant - congratulations! ...doesn't look much like you though :-) ...or Hayley come to think of it. Got to be the most important thing you can do - hope I do it one day too. Good work Steve."

"Wow what fantastic news! I must say I am not surprised, I was thinking about you both last week and wondering when the big day was going to be. I must have had a premonition. I really am absolutely delighted for you both, as the pic emerged I went all goose pimply and tearful."

"Congratulations, Well Done, I bet your really Happy. No wonder you've been skipping to work and back."

---

Some reponses to Hayley's email:

"OH Hayley - I am so happy for you - I don't know what to say! If anyone was ever designed to be a parent, it is you. You are going to be a fabulous mommy.... Oh I'm just so tickled for you sweetie."

"CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! That is soo exciting. When is the baby due??? How is Steve? I am sure you both are super excited."

"OH MY GOODNESS....CONGRATULATIONS, I'm soo happy for you. You will be a great mum..What's the time difference between us, I want to call you (from work of course)...I'm soo happy for you Hayley, I want to cry!"

"Hayley, That is fantastic news. I am so happy for you and Steve. You really have come a long way my dear. You had to deal with some tough blows in life, but look how you ended up, with such joy and happiness. I am thrilled for you."

Apparently I smell... again!

According to Hayley, during pregnancy the mother-to-be's sense of smell is increased 280%. Don't I know this!

Over the past couple of days she has taken to sniffing me again. Last night I ate a whole garlic baguette while she was out. When she came in she pulled a face like I'd climbed out of a sewer and kept me at arms length thereafter.

During the night she disappeared to the spare room, only returning in the morning to spray air freshener around the room as I wandered sleepily downstairs to make porridge. That'll teach me.

Scantastic day!

Yesterday we had the first scan and it was without doubt the high point of the pregnancy so far for me. (See the picture below.)

The moment the sonographer placed the instrument on Hayley's belly I could see the baby so clearly! And almost immediately it moved, propelling itself upwards. What a feeling to see it! I guess it must be the same for everyone, but we immediately had the biggest grins on our faces. The feeling was one of undiluted elation.

Afterwards we got a couple of pictures and took one each to work. It was finally time to go completely public and tell our friends at work and elsewhere. And that has been a huge relief and a huge pleasure.

I walked into the office to find both Dave and Paul there, so I showed them the picture first. It was great to finally reveal why I'd been so interested in Paul's lack of sleep and in the houses for sale near Dave in Bramhall.

I took in all the remaining chocolate from the weekend Valentine party as a way of celebrating. It served as a nice way to bring up the news. Several people (including Matt) came in and noticed the chocolate but not the picture on my desk and asked why I had more chocolate than Charlie's famous factory.

The signature to the whole afternoon was my ever-present grin, probably as daft looking as it was permanent. Not that I cared. And the parade of fathers telling tales of baby woes didn't burst my bubble either. Neither Paul's stories of permanent sleep deprivation, nor Dan's accounts of projectile pooing were sufficient to remove the smile for the entire afternoon.

Today I emailed Chris and also Scott. Chris was surprised. (I'll find out just how surprised tomorrow when I meet him for lunch.) Scott was also taken totally unawares. As was Sophie. Later, at home, they rang us, which was really nice.

A couple of people asked if this meant we were getting married, which I found interesting. For the record, it doesn't mean we'll get married. As I said to one person yesterday, we've made the biggest commitment, getting married would be peripheral to the undertaking we haver already made. Many of the strongest families I know are not ones where the parents are married.

Actually I'm reminded of Eric Morecambe when I think of the order in which things have happened in my life, particularly between Hayley and I. When Andre Previn told him "You are playing all the wrong notes", he countered "I'm playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order".

Tonight I have sent out an email to a long list of friends and there'll be another one tomorrow to Hayley's circle. I wonder what responses they will solicit.

Ultrasound image at 13 weeks

Scan at 13 weeks (first pic)
Originally uploaded by Steven Townley.

This is a snapshot from Hayley's first scan at 13 weeks into the pregnancy.

The head is on the left and the body on the right.

The picture doesn't really do justice to the quality of the image we saw on the screen which showed developing limbs and the heartbeat.

Charades

The news has been broken to the grandparents to be.

Well, all except my Dad as he seems not to have returned from his latest jaunt to the continent in his ongoing attempt to holiday his way to a Ph.D in Hedonism.

Yesterday was one of those rare occasions in ones life: and not just because I managed to gather most of my family into one room without them leaving, cooking or answering the phone. So after they had been seated for a while and had sampled the dips and snacks that Hayley and Julia had so carefully prepared, we "decided" to play charades.

We quickly navigated South Pacific before struggling through Hayley's Guys and Dolls to get to my turn.

So after communicating that my chosen subject was not a play, movie, book or show, I managed to convey that the first three (of the four) words were "Steve and Hayley's...". It's hard to convey how I felt at this point. All I had to do now was rock my arms like I was rocking a baby and all would be clear. It was like standing one step from the summit of Everest knowing with absolute certainty that you were about to reach your goal. I paused to milk the moment and then made the rocking motion...

Totally blank faces. And silence.

"Baby?" said Julia. I pointed at her, nodding, with a big grin, still mute in best charades fashion.

More blank looks.

"She's preggers?" queried Del. More grinning and nodding from me.

"Hang on," interjected my Mum, looking as confused, ironically, as I imagine I probably did when she explained to me why our rabbit Snowy was always giving Peter rabbit piggy backs and never the other way round. "Are you serious?" Yet more nodding.

At this point Robbie at least managed to rise above the state of shock that seemed to have engulfed the room to step forward with a smile to say "Congratulations" and shake my hand. This moved things on somewhat, but even when the party broke up a little later (as my 93 year old Grandmother needed to go home) I knew that the news was still very new indeed and not even close to having sunk in.

By contrast, when we told Hayley's Mum the shock seemed to last only about 30 seconds, after which she completely got the measure of the situation: by the end of the evening she knew exactly when she was coming up to stay and was ready to video the birth! (This latter plan had to be gently vetoed later.)

The day before we told Hayley's Dad. He seemed very pleased and proud. His partner, Nancy, was over the moon and made the first offer to babysit!

So that's that. Seconds out, round 2.... friends!